I’m the girlfriend
Omg onion you got me good with this headline. Need to breath laughed a little too hard.
only a couple of stabs to the torso, very low key
That chick is definitely trans🤮
Poor Kyle
Alex_Wilde aaaaahahaha
It'll morph into a category 5 explosion once he drops the bit about sleeping with her sister.
Check
Husband just wants to have a low-key, get laid Valentine’s Day this weekend.
Note this was someone living in Bizarro World
Tip for the guys. Either you’re playing offense or you’re playing defense.
She must really love him to keep it low-key. Or given up on changing him.
Women's expectations nowadays are unrealistic.
In other words, not the whole fam thus time.
Where's this relationship going?
nickguy88
Make sure it’s after she finds out what you got your mom was more expensive.
the onion. by men. for men. chop your onions for tears today.
After all, life is like a box of arguments.😠
All pressure is off with this weather!
I always carry an onion in case I need to fight. Not an actual onion, the newspaper. Actually not that either. I don’t know where to find it, so I just print out their website. Been working great so far.
arethehetsokay
it will prob be about his soul patch
Can we force the kids to be there?
I can do nothing but continue to keep telling people ALL BANKS IN HONG KONG ARE CROOKS, ESPECIALLY ANZ HONG KONG !!! Luckily ANZ have been found guilty of Criminal cartel case and hope these crooks are properly punished !!!
Banks in Hong Kong are crooks, especially ANZ HK ! HK monetary authority said all banks are good, otherwise they won't exist ! I said drugs exist, can you say drugs are good ? Not even 1 single government can do a proper job under the evil system, HK is like hell these days！
I thought The Onion was supposed to be satire! 😂😂😂
Ct
sure that’s what she’ll say, but you know deep down she wants you to surprise her with a major argument out of the blue over something as mundane as the subtle invisible anger cues you’re picking up from her
With that facial hair he deserves it.
Police will be disappointed. They always enjoy seeing how couple has updated their home with the annual domestic violence call from the neighbors.
Low-Key means she still wants it to be a massive public display, just doesn’t want it to be posted online.
'I know I told him, that I didn't want anything for Valentine's Day, but that didn't mean that I didn't want anything for Valentine's Day. He should've known that.'
Redheads, why does it always have to be redheads, you know they are death eaters.
She thinks that’s what she wants. What she really wants is a real public one at a fancy place, after $500 have been dropped.
I literally just broke up with my girlfriend 👍
said no fighting
theyall still be flashing smileys on the snaps 😁📱 part of the happy no quarel cover
DeejDrake frankthetank899 “bitter, resentment-fueled intercourse afterwards”
Is this... normal for you? If so, you may be the problem.
I remember taking my girlfriend out for Valentine’s Day. My wife was pissed.
This year they’ll fight over his refusal to shave that ridiculous caterpillar off his chin
She will definitely mention how ridiculous the thing on his chin is.
and not in public like last year
They both are soulless monsters
Boys at the Onion really low key giving away how bad they are with the ladies the past few days.
j_lopus soon
Her: We need to talk. Him: Ok. Her: OMG if that's your attitude then I don't even want to talk about it! Him: Ok.
This is my favorite picture from Woodstock 1999
He should dip her thong in Icy Hot!🥶🔥
Fake news; isn't multi racial Or are you suggesting only white people have problems?