JamesBarnsley30 Liberalism is the death of Capitalisim
Haha!
“When did the Onion stop doing satire posts” 4,914 likes 37 RT
I thought that the Onion was satire; this is quite true, and happening a lot. Many restaurants here in Dallas have failed, and most of them had been open for years. But we saved Granny, so ruining peoples' lives is just fine!
AnamCara18188 20 years ago when I worked in a Fortune 100 food Company I couldn't help but notice year after year at the Corporate State of the company presentation 'All Other' was always the fastest growing market share. Took care of that didn't they.
Maybe they should get the stimulus carrier
When you are reading fake 'fake' news....
Everything will fail eventually!
The solution? A BIG RELIEF PACKAGE. People should not put their health ahead of anything. Not good for owners, employees, customers. So, talk to your politician and demand an answer on why they are not helping the restaurant industry. Politicians should pretend is a 'bailout'
jerryiannelli too soon
satire got so think that it became a more real news story than the news.
Oof 🙁
seanmdav NO SHIT sherlock
RamonaNkrumah lmao
Terrible situation for these business owners
davidmackau Right?
capeannsky Bruh.
TaylorLorenz
WaltHickey And yet drug dealers pull it off.
I didn’t have to wait for the reopening expected sometime in the summer of 2021. Or for all events to cancel through December, now. My 27 year business is over, and it ain’t coming back. Early retirement, acquiring skills for two 25 year, part time gigs to replace SS/insecurity💔
Sad that this isn’t just satirical. One of my favorite local places, family owned and operated has close permanently due to forced shutdowns. NYGovCuomo smugly say “not a death”, but it is in a way and the end of a family dream and life’s work and savings. Plus tax dollars lost.
I thought Americans were daredevil risk takers who live on the wild side? Wusses.
SScalpings Restaurants have a high failure rate in the first 6 months. Diners are fickle, rents are high & restaurants are very competitive.
This literally feels like I read this from AP news feed.
'Study Finds Most Restaurants Fail Within First Year Of It Becoming Illegal To Go To Them..' Whodathunk?
'Better fed and dead!'
Well why would they open so soon to when a pandemic breaks out? That’s just poor business planning
Yeah, cash flow is motherfucker.
That math doesnt add up
Pretty sad times.
I could have never guessed! thanks for the super informative info
Lol
Should have served the kitties faster!!
RealAlisonPoole TheBabylonBee is so much better at this then you are.
This was a jonathanmaze headline awhile back
I’ve been playing too much r6s and I want to blow up the plywood
MZHemingway Fake News? 🤣
😂
FriedasMom7 🤣
Were was this Russia?
When The Onion cuts, it cuts deep!
Cut a hole in the board and make it your take out hole
Only places getting busted are the ones stupid enough to go on the news and brag about being open.
THE ONION IS BECOMING AN ACTUAL NEED SOURCE THIS IS NOT A DRILL THE ONION MUST BE ADDED TO THE RELIABILITY CHARTS
Dang! That’s my Notting Hill local E&O!
Are they wrong?
I thought The Onion was satire?
OMG!! That’s hysterical.
I should open a restaurant and sue anyone that goes in
There hasn't been reality for about 3.5 years.
Remember what Jim said over 50 years ago...”They’re trying to destroy...our casual joys”. And indeed...these are...Strange Days TheDoors
Don't ya hate it when that happens... 😎
Illegal seafood
Lol, you pay $10,000 to eat at a restaurant?! That must be some good food, dude!
Yall just straight up doin real shit now huh?
ok