Student Travels To Remote Indian Temple To Train With Legendary Yoga Ball

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RISHIKESH, INDIA—Arriving early Friday at a remote Himalayan temple after weeks of strenuous travel, American yoga student Jennifer Miller dressed in the traditional moisture-wicking clothing required of pilgrims, unrolled her ceremonial rubber mat, and began his training under the legendary yoga ball known internationally as The Round One. “Ever since my guru tasked me with reading Ball Rishi’s book, I have known that the only way to truly elevate my yogic discipline would be to make the brutal journey out here and bask in his wisdom for myself,” said Miller, a yoga devotee and marketing director from Sacramento, California, who undertook a six-day trek through flooded Ganges marshland in 100-degree heat to reach the steps of the ancient studio where the famed orb resides with his coterie of yoga blocks. “This most revered ball is rumored to be nearly 150 years old and is said to have spent its entire existence, since mere moments after its inflation, in the practice of yoga. Its methods may be controversial, as the ball has transcended beyond the need for food and water and subsists only on breath, but I am awed by the amount of mental and spiritual strength necessary for The Round One to sit in utter silent and spherical contemplation for 24 hours a day. I do not approach this undertaking lightly, but I know if I truly commit myself to the methods of the ball, I will be completely transformed.” Miller was last seen fleeing into the Himalayan foothills moments after a large popping sound was heard echoing throughout the monastery.

 

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I think I met Yoga Ball in Greece. The Hilton in Athens. It was a really warm night. They dont have a.c. in some of those places so it gets quite sticky. He looked cool as a cucumber.

Poignant.

esteetabernac Be the ball.

Student Later Learns That Legendary Yoga Ball Was Figment Of Her Imagination, And The Power Was Inside Her All Along

Not gonna lie. I’m a little jealous of that yoga ball.

Pat_Exotic gaming ball*

Student feels spiritually enlightened performing yoga in a temple built by slaves. Namaste.

'Miller was last seen fleeing into the Himalayan foothills moments after a large popping sound was heard echoing throughout the monastery' 😬😁

I also have blue balls if anyone wants to visit my temple.

Alternative title: Bored college students travel to India to hump yoga balls.

her performance was so good that earned a lead roll in a 'BALLYwood' movie 😉😉😉😎😎

Joke of day is about FakeMelania

Please don't give them inspiration

Q: Which one would you prefer: Corona, Dengue fever or malaria? White girl: “Yes!”

Lolll

There is no ball, the ball can only be found within.

I’d love to get my creepy hands all over that....ball. senatemajldr GOP realDonaldTrump

During a pandemic? Sounds white.

Rofl! 🤣🤣🤣 what a sarcasm!!

🤣🤣👌

Inflatable sales are up dramatically

Is the joke that the article mentions India when that's clearly a Thai temple ?

And then Tilda Swinton taught her the mystical art of the anti-vax conspiracy.

Looks like Thailand.

It’s so authentic Meeghan!!

Where's the suckling infant?

Absolute goddamn *D E D I C A T I O N*.

bally high

Tskeet16 wow I hear about your trip to India on the news first?

Didn't end well

'Woman says her baby will be the size of an exercise ball.'

How much is the Yoga Ball? I am in great need for Enlightenment. Thank you

She could travel to either of my balls, anytime. College credits.

I miss this innocuous nonsense comedy. The Onion lately was too focus on report reality accurately.

Looks like Thailand - probably Ayuthaya...

Gurus love themselves some gullible western ass.

It's better than the abuse you cop with Pai Mei.

Why. Are. You. Foolishhhhhhh 😆💀

superyogapalace

Ball content, (air) will soon be tested for 14th century CO/2 content.

People with more money than brains waste it on things like this & shares of The Onion stock, also known as beer & weed money from mom. TheOnionSucks

looks like a bit more than “training” to me 😆

Ignores Sign Reading, 'How about leaving a few bucks.'

I’m training home with a tub of cheese balls

If you can yoga a dodgy yoga ball, you can dodge a dodgy yoga ball.

They have Rainforest Cafes in India?

Lolol

We all need to get our Kicks somewhere. . . .

If you can yoga a dodgy ball, you can dodge a dodgy yoga ball.

Then doesn't wear a mask and is sent home without a tuition refund after starting a covid surge. We know. What did they think was going to happen?

Finally, the white savior yoga ball adventure we all needed to see

I feel that a remote Indian temple might actually be a nicer place rn

i thought onion satire

sounds like some anime shit

You're the best, a round!

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