This past week has brought no shortage of apologies from shamefaced public figures, and who better to guide us through them than Chloe Fineman in SNL’s cold open as Britney Spears, who is definitely not sending us subliminal messages through her coded Instagram posts. Fineman-as-Spears is hosting a talkshow for celebrities on apology tours, and her first guest is Ted Cruz, played by a flawless Aidy Bryant .
“Hola, everyone,” Cruz opens, holding a margarita and decked out in vacation braids. Bryant-as-Cruz admits that he’s not so great at “human stuff” before explaining that at least he had “the cajones to blame his actions on his young daughters.” Next up is Pete Davidson as Andrew Cuomo, who calls Bill de Blasio a “bird bitch” and squeezes out an apology. Spears’s final guest is Cecily Strong as Gina Carano, who doesn’t apologize, but does nearly break character alongside Bryant’s Cruz.
No one really cares. It's just an opportunity to bash Cruz.
Well the real Ted Cruz also has no shame so 🤷♀️
And if Teddy dropped trou he’d have a pencil dick