Things That Are Different in Europe

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“When you turn on a European faucet after noon, wine comes out. Before noon, it’s espresso.”

More than half of U.S. travelers said they would feel comfortable traveling internationally six months after a vaccine becomes available.In Europe, they don’t eat dinner until eleven-thirty at night. Small children and the elderly are roused from a deep sleep to come down for dinner and are made to eat six-course meals. Four of the courses are different kinds of pasta. Then they go back to sleep.

When you turn on a European faucet after noon, wine comes out. Before noon, it’s espresso. If you want water, you have to collect it from the village fountain, which has a high metal content owing to all the coins that were tossed into it by people making wishes. In Europe, women don’t shave their armpits. Many actually add hair to their armpits which they have collected from pets and farm animals. On the other hand, all European men, without exception, shave their armpits. They go to a special European barbershop called anEuropeans are more sexually comfortable than Americans, because they have sex only while wearing culottes.

Europeans eat smaller portions than Americans, because all the plates are small, from olden times. European factories still haven’t advanced enough to make bigger plates.

 

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