Louisa Young cared for her partner Robert Lockhart for years. She says she now realises – too late – that alcoholism isn’t a moral failing and cannot be cured with love
Secondly, I wish I’d known what alcoholism is. Technically, it’s a primary chronic disease of unknown cause and a slow onset, with genetic, psychosocial, cultural and environmental factors. And what it isn’t – it isn’t a moral failing; an act of aggression; lack of willpower; personal. Nobody fills in a form saying: “I’d like to be an alcoholic please so I can destroy myself and ruin the lives of everyone who loves me.”
Nobody imagines we can cure cancer, or Parkinson’s, with love. Why should we imagine love can cure addiction? That is what we’re thinking. We don’t say: “Oh, you wouldn’t have muscular dystrophy if you really loved me.” Or: “Here let me love you enough and you will be better, oh, my love is not curing it, I am a bad person.”